What’s IFS?
Have you ever wondered why part of you wants to rest but this other part of you needs to be productive and just won’t allow that to happen? Or maybe you determine you’re very happy for your friend who is moving on to the next chapter of life, but somehow you find yourself sad, upset, and feeling left behind. In life, we’d call that an internal conflict. In IFS, we’d refer to this dynamic as a polarization of parts. This “parts language” is also the gift IFS provides. Through parts language, we can begin to understand various parts of ourselves that seem to be at odds, as well as understand more about the beautiful parts of us that make us who we are.
The foundation of IFS is in the belief that each person is comprised of an internal system of parts. This internal system holds both protective and wounded inner parts that are led by a core Self. IFS believes every individual is born with a Self. This Self is who you are when you are curious, clear, calm, connected, compassionate, courageous, creative, and confident. Self cannot be damaged, and Self knows how to heal. The heart of IFS is to build better relationships between your core Self and your protective/ vulnerable parts.
Key concepts
IFS is an evidenced based approach and has been impactful in treatments of trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, addictions, and eating disorders. A few key concepts to note are…
As previously mentioned, everyone has a Self. Self is not only who we are at our core, but also who we are as our best selves. Through Self leadership we find compassion and courage to heal.
In IFS, we maintain the belief that there are no “bad” parts. Parts are neither good nor bad, they simply are. Through this nonpathologizing approach to viewing our internal worlds, we learn to have compassion, acceptance, and appreciation for the ways in which each part tries to help us and the system within.
Finally, “All parts are welcome.” We believe each part serves a purpose in your life. While some parts may be more helpful than others, we make sure each part has a seat at the table. This “all parts are welcome” mentality helps us drop the self-judgement and learn to embrace our nuances.
How it works
As a practicing IFS therapist, my goal is to help you better understand yourself and your needs. I believe IFS enables us to love ourselves more deeply- prickly and shiny parts and all. My role is to help you to better understand these parts, their motivations, and their needs. In doing so, we focus on building trust between your Self and your parts. This is what allows healing to take place.
Each part has a story to tell and a burden they carry. As you befriend your various parts, you will begin to understand their burdens and help them find the means to trust and be set free. Maybe the part of you that turns to alcohol is really trying to avoid the pain of failure. Maybe the part of you that can’t seem to find any ounce of motivation is really trying to protect you from the pain of disappointment. And maybe, just maybe, none of these parts would choose to operate in this way if they had a choice in the matter.
My heart is to help you name these parts, develop curiosity and compassion towards them, and help you heal the wonderful parts of you that are dying to be seen and loved.